Bloody Big Head
by Velace
Summary: How one woman, let alone two, could find Robin Hood in the least bit attractive Emma didn't think she'd ever understand. "Handsome, isn't he?" Make that three women. "If your type is someone with irritable bowel syndrome, sure."


**Author Note: **I did an anti-shot for Neal and Killian, this is for Robin.

Smut included, naturally.

* * *

><p>Robin Hood.<p>

Emma stared—or perhaps _glared _was a more appropriate term for the undeniable look of loathing she wore as she watched him laughing at something his wife had said. The love struck expression on Marion's face as she listened, to what sounded to Emma like the dying wheeze of a hyena, was thoroughly nauseating. How one woman, let alone two, could find him in the least bit attractive she didn't think she'd ever understand.

All she saw when she looked at him were his beady eyes, big ears and flashes of the faces he pulled that almost never failed to make her wonder if he were experiencing brief moments of constipation.

"Handsome, isn't he?"

Make that _three _women.

"If your type is someone with irritable bowel syndrome, sure."

She blinked, registering what she had said and who she had said it to _after _the fact.

When her mother had arrived, she had no idea.

"Uh," she started, falling silent as she tried to think of something appropriate to say to explain away her obviously raging jealousy. "What?" and failed.

"You really don't like him do you," Snow mused, turning her head to examine the man who had somehow gained her daughter's attention in the worst of ways.

As it wasn't a question, Emma saw no reason to respond and simply allowed her lip to curl in a sneer while her mother wasn't paying attention. Snow turned back to her and Emma immediately smiled, knowing it probably looked as fake as it felt but finding herself lacking any fucks to give in order to correct it.

"What's up?" she questioned, trying to steer their conversation away from the human embodiment of poverty-stricken, and sighed her relief as Snow played along.

"I saw Killian this morning," she replied. "He seemed oddly upbeat for someone who lost the woman he supposedly loves."

Emma smirked and rolled her eyes. She had never fallen for his stupid lovelorn puppy routine. "I got him a date tonight with Red," she said, shrugging as shock painted itself across her mother's face.

"Poor Red."

"Better her than me," Emma reasoned, grinning as Snow chuckled.

They were both interrupted by a throat clearing and Emma turned her head, swallowing as her eyes landed on their intruder—well, on the intruder's rather generous chest area. She forced her eyes back around and down to the table as Regina spoke.

"Snow, I wish to speak with you alone." There was a pause. "Miss Swan, broken any more hearts lately?"

Gripping the edge of her seat, Emma forced herself to meet the brunette's dark gaze. "I did stab one," she replied with the reminder of Killian's wounded look before she distracted him with talk of Red playing in her head. "I managed to fix it though, so you know if you're ever open to not being a bitch for five minutes…"

Nostrils flared and chestnut eyes narrowed. Emma was proud she could still get a reaction despite Regina's best efforts to remain closed off from her and smirked, smugness washing away whatever guilt she might have felt had it not been months since her mistake. She was done being punished for saving someone's life, regardless of whom it had hurt.

Disturbed by the sudden tension that filled the air between blonde and brunette, Snow interrupted their oddly intimate stare down and stood. "Regina, you wanted to talk?" She didn't know what was going on between her daughter and former stepmother but whatever it was, she would rather not be present when it flowed over, as she was fairly certain of what would happen when it did.

Not that she would have a problem with it, should her assumptions prove correct but this _was _her daughter and there were some things parents just weren't meant to see when it came to their children—their very stubborn, adult children.

Emma stood, deciding she would get back to the station and leave them to it. She glared at Regina until the woman stepped out of the way but before she could leave, Snow spoke up. "Where are you going?"

Shaking her head, Emma moved to the door. "Oh you know me; dogs to chase, dreams to crush, lives to ruin—busy busy day for the Savior," she said, flashing both women a smile that screamed mock innocence over her shoulder and exiting the diner.

Catching sight of Regina watching her through the window, she winked and blew her a kiss, glimpsing the anger and something more contorting such a pretty, pretty face as she threw her head back and laughed.

* * *

><p>Time passed relatively quickly and as five o'clock rolled around, Emma's brain was fried from filling out form after stupid form. She was ready to go home, to sit down and watch some mindless television while she drank a few beers before bed.<p>

Removing her badge and placing it in the top drawer of her desk, she grabbed her jacket from the back of her chair and froze as the faint, familiar click of heels announced a last minute visitor. Her brow furrowed as the sound was proceeded by a heavier set of feet and she looked up, scowling as Robin Hood appeared beside the brunette.

"Miss Swan," Regina greeted, fake politeness dripping from her tone. Emma dropped her jacket and folded her arms across her chest, unsurprised that her hostile stance was ignored as Regina went on to explain her reason for them being there. "I would like you to consider taking Robin on as a Deputy."

_"You ruined my life!"_

"No," she said without first thinking, letting her dislike of the man cloud her thoughts a moment before she added, "I have a Deputy and with the crime rate in this town, I'm not exactly struggling to cope with the workload."

"I have already spoken to your father and he's willing to return to the shelter—"

Emma huffed in irritation. "Let me save you some time, Your Majesty," she said. "First, I am the Sheriff and regardless of my father's willingness, I am responsible for those I hire—not him, and not you. Second, last I heard, Robin is without a place of residence and no—his tent in the forest doesn't count which means I can't employ him even if I wanted to and last but not least, I _don't _want to."

_"You need to accept that I'm not the one who hurt you, _he_ did."_

Robin tried to intervene. "Sheriff," was as far as he got before Emma turned to him with a look that had his mouth snapping shut.

"You have no qualifications, no reliable references and no place of residence." Retrieving her jacket once more, she hooked it across her shoulder and continued. "I might trust her judgement but for some unknown reason, she has forgiven _you _for breaking her heart but refuses to even _speak _to me like a normal human being unless she wants something. So no; I don't know you, I don't like you and I'm not going to hire you because you're the ex-boyfriend of the _former _Mayor."

Realising the situation had gotten away from her; she growled and tossed the keys to the station to Regina who barely managed to catch them. "I'm not waiting around to listen to whatever else you have to say, so lock up when you decide to leave," she said, muttering curses under her breath as she stormed out of the room.

* * *

><p>For ten minutes, Emma listened to the violent sound of someone banging on her door. Knowing who it was by the shrill <em>Miss Swan <em>that came before the first thud of a fist, she ignored it and inched the volume on the TV to a level where the knocking became a dull niggling in her ear. Sort of like that faint ringing you get when you space out without realising it—annoying, but fairly tolerable while it lasted.

And man, it lasted.

Finishing off the last of her second beer, Emma collected the two empty bottles and made her way to the kitchen. She hadn't eaten since the diner and cooking seemed like a valid distraction from the irate woman at her door.

If she ended up burning down her apartment in the process, well—maybe it would be enough to turn Regina's ire into exasperated sympathy. She'd spend an hour listening to the brunette tell her all about how much of an idiot she was, rather than thinking up possible ways to escape the torture Regina no doubt wanted to inflict upon her for daring to speak to her the way she had in front of Robin.

Emma grimaced and rolled her eyes at her own immature thoughts as she rummaged through cupboards in search of something to eat. The mere thought of his name had her wanting to smash something; like maybe his head against the wall.

Why the hell did Regina forgive him and not her? It wasn't as though Emma was the one who declared her love for her and then broke her heart the next day when her wife came back from the dead like a fucking zombie. How was she supposed to know the woman she saved was Robin Hood's Marion? Up until two years ago, almost every single person in this town was nothing more than a fairy tale. If that wasn't bad enough, most of those fairy tales had been _wrong_. How was she meant to know Marion and Robin Hood were True Loves? It's not like the rest of their stories matched up—none of them did.

Prince Charming, for instance, was meant to be with Cinderella not Snow White. Rumplestiltskin and the Beast were two different people, little Red Riding Hood wasn't the damned wolf and the Evil Queen was evil because she was a petty, ugly crone not because she was betrayed and then had to watch her own mother murder the man she loved.

"And who the fuck's idea was it to name her Grimhilde?" she questioned aloud.

"I do prefer Regina," was the unexpected response and Emma groaned, not bothering to even pretend to be surprised the brunette had broken into her home as her head fell against the door of the cabinet she was looking through.

"I expect many things from you, Miss Swan."

Emma ignored her and resumed her quest for food. After another minute, Regina added, "Jealousy, however, is not one of those things and your incredible lack of professionalism earlier was uncalled for."

"Uh huh," Emma replied in a bored tone, settling on a half-eaten box of cheerios as an acceptable dinner as she retrieved another beer and moved back to the living room. "Your disapproval has been noted and similarly dismissed; feel free to lodge any future complaints with someone who cares."

"You've grown teeth, how precious," Regina drawled, coming to stand beside the couch to look down on her but Emma refused her the attention she sought, fisting a handful of cheerios and shoving them in her mouth. "That is disgusting."

Washing it down with a mouthful of beer, Emma smirked and repeated the action before the box was snatched from her hand. She knew Regina was trying to get a rise out of her because that was how their volatile relationship worked now, which was why she chose to appear unfazed and simply sipped her beer.

"If this is the result of those memories I gave you, I don't know why I bothered."

"Don't pretend you gave them to me for any other reason than Henry. You're a control freak who wanted to make sure I took care of him to your standards," she sniffed, picking up the remote and flicking through channels. "And I don't feel like cooking, so get off my ass and go irritate someone else, would you?"

Realising her usual approach wasn't working, Regina sighed and changed tactics. "We need to talk, so what do you want?"

Confused, Emma glanced to her for the first time since she barged her way into her apartment and asked, "What?"

"Dinner, Miss Swan." When met with silence and a blank stare, Regina rolled her eyes and explained. "I am hungry, you are hungry and since I want to talk, I would like to make dinner here so that we may do so while we eat."

"But…"

I don't want to talk to you, was what Emma _wanted _to say. Except, she kind of did. She had missed Regina, hell she was in love with her. She hated the state their relationship was in and even if they were never anything more than civil to one another, it would still be preferable to this superbitch version of Regina she was getting lately.

"Ugh fine," she conceded, slumping further into the couch. "As long as you don't try to curse me this time, cook whatever you want."

* * *

><p>Forty minutes and a stomach full of spaghetti and meatballs later, Regina grinned behind her wine glass at the soft, satisfied moan from across the table and questioned, "Has your mood improved any?"<p>

Emma eyed her warily, pushing back her plate as she replied, "Maybe." It had, substantially. She was feeling warmth she didn't know she needed or even wanted until it was there, in her chest and in her stomach. Regina was a spectacular cook and good food had always done wonders for Emma's disposition.

Regina scoffed, unable to help the small smile appearing around her mouth. "Don't think I don't know what that look in your eyes means," she said and if possible, those emerald orbs brightened further. Emma loved her cooking, the blonde had said as much before everything between them crumbled and they were back to the good old days of trying to restrain themselves from punching one another when in the same room together.

Patting her stomach, Emma pushed her chair back and gathered their plates. "And don't you think a decent meal is going to get me to change my mind about Robin," she stated knowingly, moving the dishes to the kitchen and rinsing them off before she placed them in the dishwasher and leaned back against the counter.

"He needs a job, Emma."

Emma shrugged. "That's not my problem, nor is it yours. If he wants a job, then he can do what I did and earn it." Narrowing her eyes, she added, "Which is exactly what you would have said about anyone else. You made me jump through hoops and unlike him; I was qualified to do the job from day one."

Regina hummed thoughtfully. She knew Emma was right and it was mostly from guilt that she wanted to help Robin. Marion had died at her hands and she felt as though she needed to make it up to him somehow. Once she accepted he was no longer a chance at happiness for her, they started to become friends and she thought getting him a job was the least she could do.

Obviously, she hadn't considered Emma's adamant refusal but she found she was far more interested in _that _than she was in pushing the matter until Emma agreed—or threw her out of her apartment. At that point, seeing the return of that fire the blonde seemed to be lacking until recently, Regina wasn't all too sure which was the more likely of the two outcomes.

"Why do you dislike him?"

Emma sighed. "Neither of us has enough energy left to discuss the extremely long list of reasons I have to dislike him," she assured, taking another beer from the fridge. "Ask the real question you want an answer to."

"You don't want me to drop the topic entirely?" Regina asked with a tilt of her head, surprised and curious at the same time.

Lifting the bottle to her mouth, Emma took a swig and licked the residue from her lips as she considered her words. Eventually she said, "What I want and what I get when it comes to you rarely coincide."

"What _do _you want?"

She chuckled and advised, "You don't really want to know the answer to that and I've had enough to drink to actually give it to you; try again."

"No, I don't think I will," Regina declared, rising from the stool and moving around the counter that separated them. "If I didn't want to know, I wouldn't have asked; so answer me."

Emma wondered if the fluttering that erupted in her stomach was in part due to the alcohol she'd consumed, rather than the proximity of the brunette. She could almost smell the sweet wine on her breath they were so close. Her resolve was fading fast and if she wanted to avoid doing something she'd later regret, she needed to move.

Shaking her head as she slipped out from between Regina and the counter, she paused and looked down at the hand that grabbed her wrist. She knew it was too soon to confess how she felt and she tried to concoct _something _that would get Regina to release her but before she could, Regina spoke.

"I trusted you," she admitted softly. "I couldn't forgive you because I felt betrayed. It had nothing to do with Robin, and everything to do with thinking you had purposely hurt me."

"That doesn't even make sense!" Emma huffed, pulling her hand to her stomach as Regina's grip loosened. "I didn't know who she was and… you know what? Even if I did, I still would have saved her just like I saved you from the fire, the mob, the wraith, the diamond..."

An amused sound stuck in the back of her throat, not having realised until that moment how many times she had saved Regina without a thought for second-guessing herself. As she tilted her head back and drained the rest of her beer, she could see that for the first time in months, she had actually gotten through to her.

Dropping the bottle into the trash, she explained, "It wasn't because of who you are but because I could, because I was there; it was a case of right place, right time and the fact I have a conscience—nothing more. I couldn't leave her there to die, just like I couldn't leave you and yeah, I had other reasons to save you but just having _one _would have been enough."

She'd had enough for the night and after running fingers through her hair, she said, "I'm tired, so I'm gonna go to bed but if you really want to know what I want; ask me again when you've forgiven me because until then, you won't believe me anyway."

* * *

><p><em>Regina spun on the blonde. "You ruined my life!" she growled, relishing the moment of shock it caused when Emma reared back as though physically hit. It didn't last, however, and she sneered as the bob of a throat alerted her to Emma's recovery.<em>

_"You mean like you ruined mine?"_

_Regina frowned at that. Confused. Confused as to how she could possibly have ruined Emma's life. She had known her all of two years and while, yes, the first year wasn't exactly unicorn stickers and rainbow kisses, it seemed a bit dramatic to claim it ruined her life. "What are you—"_

_"I spent twenty-eight years without parents," Emma interrupted, "shuffled between foster homes until I ran away at sixteen. I lived on the streets for 2 years before I was sent to jail where I gave birth to our son. You want to talk about ruining each other's lives—you have no leg to stand on lady. Your relationship was based on a fucking tattoo; don't blame me because the man who told you he loved you didn't know what he had and left."_

_Oh, she thought, that's how._

_Feeling the need to defend herself, she ignored the mention of Robin. "Your parents—" she started to say but Emma saw the protest coming and cut her off once more as she finished the sentence._

_"Put me in the wardrobe, you're right they did but if they hadn't?"_

_Her shoulders slumped and Emma nodded, repeating the thought that crossed her mind as soon as the question was asked. "You would have killed me, I know; I met the Evil Queen. The fact is you, inadvertently, ruined my life and I accept that. Until this moment, I have never mentioned it because I also know you didn't do what you did with me in mind just as I didn't do what I did with you in mind."_

_The words played over in her head and she was speechless as Emma shoved her hands into her back pockets and shrugged. "You need to accept that _I'm_ not the one who hurt you, Regina," she said and turned to walk away with a muttered, "_He_ did."_

Regina stared up at her ceiling. She hadn't realised it until she left the apartment, but that look Emma had that night in the forest was the same one she wore in the station when she turned down Robin flat. It had been a long time since she'd last seen anguish in eyes that weren't her own.

Thinking back on their interactions between last night and the afternoon Emma returned from the past with Marion in tow, she realised it had been there ever since she accused the blonde of being just like her mother. At the time she thought nothing of it, that she had hit home with her words as she had intended but remembering what Emma said that night and last night, she knew the wound she wrought went deeper than even her intentions were meant.

The only question she had, was why?

_"…don't blame me because the man who told you he loved you didn't know what he had and left."_

Well, there was _that_.

She groaned and rolled on to her side, burying her face in her pillow. If Emma meant what the words implied, then someone had royally fucked up and it wasn't the blonde.

* * *

><p>Emma was at the diner again after a call from Red at fuck-off-o'clock. She wanted to gush about her date with Killian for some reason and apparently, since it was Emma's day off and she obviously had nothing better to do, she was the one chosen to fulfil the role of giggling girlfriend.<p>

Of course, she wasn't her mother and instead of 'giggling girlfriend' Red ended up with a nauseated Sheriff who rolled her eyes frequently enough that the wolf had ended up throwing her hands up in exasperation and telling her she needed to get laid before being called back to work by her grandmother.

Emma wondered if Granny liked chocolates, or flowers. A simple thank you wouldn't suffice; it was too vague and didn't properly express how much gratitude she had for that conversation to be over, _finally_.

She liked Killian. She liked Red. She _did not_ like hearing about how much tongue he used when he kissed. She'd kissed him. She was more than knowledgeable of such facts and didn't need to be reminded of them—or further scarred by the memory.

She shuddered.

"Good morning, Princess."

Emma smiled and looked up as David leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. She hated the nickname, but made certain concessions when it came to her father. "Hey Dad," she replied as he slid into the booth opposite her with a dopey grin.

"I received a phone call this morning," he informed, nodding his head when she raised an eyebrow.

"Congratulations?"

He chuckled. "Regina asked if I would teach he-who-shall-not-be-named—" He paused. She rolled her eyes. He grinned wider and shrugged before he went on, "—if I would teach him about animals, take him on as an assistant during the weekends. I'm sorry, you know, for not warning you but I _did _warn her before she spoke to you and thought maybe she wouldn't go through with it."

Emma shook her head, dismissing the apology with a wave of her hand. David knew. After he caught her bawling her eyes out at the beach, she was spilling her heart out to him before she could stop herself. She was your average, everyday daddy's girl and she considered herself fortunate. If she were a Momma's girl, the whole of Storybrooke would know about her feelings for the former Evil Queen within seconds after admitting it. She loved her mother, but Snow White was an even bigger gossip than Grumpy and Red combined.

"You should know by now that when she gets an idea into her head, there's little anyone can do to change her mind." They smirked, both having considerable experience of that fact. She sighed and admitted, "I may have been a bit… over the top, but it got the job done."

David offered a faint smile. "He really isn't such a bad guy, you know," he said.

No, she thought, he probably wasn't but that didn't change the fact that for the last six months, she was the one who suffered the punishment for _his _choice. If not for that choice, she and Regina would at least still be friends and not—whatever it was that they were at the moment. Mothers, enemies, friends—frenemies; last night had made everything between them even more confusing than they were that morning in the diner. She didn't know what the hell she was to Regina anymore.

"Try telling me that if he ever breaks Mom's heart," she murmured.

"Fair enough," he replied, reaching across the table and squeezing her hand in support before he pulled back. "What say we order something to eat?"

Having spent the better part of an hour nursing her second cup of coffee and ignoring the growl of her stomach, she grinned and said, "You're buying."

"Of course," he laughed. "What kind of father would I be if I made my little girl spend her hard earned money on food?"

"Definitely a terrible one," she replied with an emphatic nod of her head, smiling as he stood with a mock gasp and crossed the floor to the counter.

With breakfast in hand, David returned to their table and they chose not to speak much beyond telling each other their plans for the day. Emma decided hers would involve doing as little as possible while David busied himself with rescuing cats from trees, filling the time in between with the dreaded paperwork that somehow seemed to multiply by the hour. Fortunately for her, he minded it a lot less than she did and there was considerably less of it when her shift came around.

Just as Emma was biting into an English muffin—Regina had bullied Granny into adding them to the menu after Emma mentioned them at some point when they'd returned from Neverland—Henry popped up beside her.

"Hey Ma!" he shouted, achieving his goal—assuming his goal had been an attempt to kill her via choking on the muffin stuck in her throat. "Oops… Mom!"

Emma groaned as a hand thumped her on the back and dislodged the food, reaching for her water and downing half of it while David tried to hold in his laughter. She made a face at him and turned her head to see Regina smirking down at her, and rolled her eyes.

"If trying to kill me is going to be a Mills tradition, can I ask that it not be done via food? I have few enough loves as it is."

"Sorry Ma," Henry grinned and dropped into the booth beside his grandfather. Emma raised her eyebrow, thinking Regina likely didn't want to sit with them and he shrugged. "Mom wants to talk to you, right Mom?"

The sigh he received was loud enough that Emma wouldn't be surprised if the whole diner heard it. "Yes dear," Regina replied and started walking toward the bathrooms with a, "Come, Swan," thrown over her shoulder.

With another eye roll, Emma stood and followed after her. Whatever she wanted, making Regina wait was never a good idea and the last thing she needed was to cause a scene by stubbornly refusing to be ordered about. She did not, under any circumstances, expect to be assaulted once they were out of sight.

As her back slammed into the wall and hands came down on either side of her head, Regina purred, "Tell me, would I be correct to assume that one of those other reasons has something to do with your attraction to me?"

Confused, Emma simply stared and tried to figure out what the hell she was talking about, and why they were standing so close. In addition to those questions, dark eyes seemed a little darker than usual so she was wondering about that as well. Regina pulled back a little and the minute bit of distance reminded Emma that she should probably consider breathing still a necessity too.

Her whole body vibrated with sensation as her sharp inhale drew the most delicious throaty chuckle from lips she couldn't seem to convince her eyes to stop looking at. "I was, wasn't I?" Regina smirked. "Your desire to save me all the time was due in part to actual desire for me, how sweet."

The fact the comment didn't sound mocking was somewhat of a relief and Emma relaxed as realisation brought the growing questions in her head to a screeching halt. "I thought it was the Queen of Hearts who had the big head," she said, relieved that she wasn't about to be maimed horrifically despite her current position.

"Oh she did," Regina confirmed, seeming to soften at the lack of denial as her smirk transformed to a light grin. "You _do_ recall my mother, yes?"

Emma huffed, amused. "I am so not surprised that was your mother." Registering their proximity once more, she added, "I can't say the same about whatever is going on right now, however."

"I guess you could say I had…" Regina trailed off, searching for the right word. "…an epiphany, I suppose."

Emma closed her eyes as another chuckle escaped, the darkness helping to restrain her from surging forward. It was becoming harder each day not to kiss Regina; she had even started keeping them on uneven ground whenever they were in the same room together to make it easier on her resistance.

"You really do make the most ridiculous faces," Regina murmured, sounding even closer. Emma's pulse raced. "You sometimes remind me of a wounded puppy—like Pongo, except cuter."

"Cuter than a dog," Emma deadpanned, unimpressed as she opened her eyes. "That's quite a compliment; I bet you woo all the girls with your smooth talk."

She inhaled sharply as Regina leaned in even closer, eyes dropping to lips which quirked with a grin upon noticing where her attention was. "If you wanted sweet talk, dear," Regina purred. "You'd be better off with the pirate."

Shaking her head, Emma forced her eyes up and replied, "I don't want the pirate."

Searching her face for something, Regina took a step back and Emma's fists balled at her side. The distance only lasted a brief few seconds though before she was back, their bodies with less than an inch between them as Regina repeated her question from the previous night, "What _do_ you want?"

Emma sighed. She wanted to kiss her, to grab her by the hips and shove her against the wall. She wanted to steal the breath from her lungs and the heart from her chest—figuratively speaking. She shook her head again and questioned, "Have you forgiven me yet?"

With a coy grin, Regina replied, "Almost."

Emma stared, impatience obvious as she waited for elaboration until she realised Regina wouldn't give it to her without prompting. She barely restrained her frustrated growl and did just that.

"What do you mean _almost_?"

When a hand came to rest on Emma's chest, her eyes fluttered shut as nails scratched the worn leather of her jacket and Regina closed that small gap, pressing their bodies flush against one another. "Tell me what you want and I'll forgive you," she said before lazily trailing her fingers up and over a shoulder, around the back of a neck where they sank into soft blonde hair.

All Emma could focus on was the heat radiating from the woman, seeping into her clothes and beneath her skin. It took her an embarrassingly long moment before registering the words and her hands landed on hips as she stated, "That's evil."

Nails scratched nonsensical patterns on her scalp, her own digging in to the fine purple silk of a blouse as dark lips brushed the side of her jaw and Regina murmured, "I'm not the Queen of Butterflies and Sunshine, dear."

Having reached the limit of her restraint, emerald eyes snapped open and Emma surged forward, capturing those teasing lips in a long awaited kiss. Regina gasped, surprised before she fisted hair and jacket simultaneously, holding Emma close as she returned and deepened the kiss with the swipe of her tongue.

Emma moaned as the warm, wet muscle slithered into her mouth, tasting a combination of coffee, chocolate and mint that made her wonder a brief second before she dismissed the thought and lost herself to the taste, the texture—the _hunger _of the mouth that devoured her own as her hands dropped to that perfect ass and palmed both cheeks.

"Ugh, Moms!"

The two broke apart as though on fire, Regina pushing from the blonde with such force that Emma grunted as her back hit the wall again while Regina hit the one opposite and tried to explain, "H-henry, it's not…"

Her jaw snapped shut when he laughed and Emma snorted as he replied, "I'm twelve, Mom; I'm pretty sure I know what you and Ma were doing."

Regina glared at the blonde whose snort had turned into full on laughter. Henry elbowed Emma in the ribs and she fell silent, noticing the brunette's ire and pursing her lips. "I'm okay with you," he informed, gesturing between the two of them. "Doing whatever you're doing but we're in public and I'm not the only one who doesn't need to see… that."

Another snort escaped Emma but she nodded, clearing her throat as she said, "You're right, kid; I don't think either of us mea—"

"_We _apologise, dear," Regina interrupted before Emma could scar him for life trying to explain the concept of getting caught up in the heat of the moment. Emma sighed, relieved for once that the brunette was able to regain her composure faster than should be possible.

"Right, we're sorry for any future therapy sessions you'll need," she grinned, which widened at the twin rolling of eyes from mother and son. "Could you give your mother and I another minute—just to talk."

He nodded and stepped in to hug them both before he turned and headed back to the booth he shared with his grandfather. Emma waited until she was sure he was gone and moved, reversing their previous positions as she pressed Regina into the wall.

Regina inhaled sharply, holding her back with a hand on her chest as she questioned, "What are you doing?"

"In case it wasn't obvious," Emma said, feeling the arm give as she leaned in. "The answer is you—y_ou_ are what I want." Resistance turned to acceptance and the push of the hand turned to a pull as Regina yanked her forward. She kissed Emma, hard and fast before she shoved her back.

"Henry will spend the day with you," she said before Emma recovered, straightening her clothes and running fingers through her hair. "He will stay the night at your parents, and I expect you for dinner at 6; don't be late."

* * *

><p>"What on earth are you wearing?" Was the first thing Regina said when she opened the door. Not that she didn't appreciate the fact Emma had dressed up for her but she wasn't expecting it and seeing Emma Swan in a dress was—strange.<p>

Emma looked down at her outfit with a frown before she peered up at the brunette and asked, "You don't like it?"

"I do," Regina assured quickly. She did. _Really._ If she was honest, like wasn't even strong enough a word to describe her feelings on the little black number—it was leather for Christ sakes.

"I like it _very _much," she purred, stepping aside to allow Emma into the mansion before she closed the door and slid arms around her waist from behind. "I simply wasn't aware you even owned such a thing."

"Your memories did more than teach me how to cook," Emma murmured, turning in the embrace and Regina smiled, placing a small kiss to the corner of her mouth before taking her by the hand and leading her into the study.

"Dinner will be ready in—" The doorbell interrupted Regina mid-sentence and she sighed. "One moment, dear; help yourself to a drink if you like." She felt the eyes on her as she sashayed from the room, grinning as she put a little extra sway in her hips for the blonde's viewing pleasure.

The grin dropped from her lips upon reaching the foyer and she opened the door with a scowl, ready to tear into whoever was interrupting her evening with the Sheriff only for the acidic words to leave her as she came face to face with Robin.

Her nostrils flared and she narrowed her eyes. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I was hoping we could talk," he said, throat bobbing with a nervous swallow as she continued to glare at him.

"I don't have time to talk," she replied. She knew Emma despised him and she'd be damned if she allowed him or anyone else to ruin their night. "Whatever it is you want will have to wait until tomorrow. Goodnight, Robin."

"Regina, please," he pleaded and she was about to respond with something venomous when there came a clearing of a throat from behind her. Regina spun on her heel, dread pooling in the pit of her stomach.

Emma cocked an eyebrow. "Problem?" she asked, glimpsing the man over Regina's shoulder as she moved forward. "Oh look its yogi bear; sorry we don't have any picnic baskets."

Robin frowned, confused and Regina chuckled before asking, "Didn't he live in a park?"

Emma shrugged. "I'm still a little disoriented from staring at your backside—that was cruel, by the way." She looked to Robin. "Did you want something or can Regina and I get back to our date?"

"D-date?" he stuttered. "I thought you two hated each other."

"Mmm nah," Emma denied. "You, I hate but her? That was just a lot of pent up sexual tension that I was kind of hoping to rectify tonight; hence the dress."

Regina gasped, "Emma!"

"Was that not the plan?" Emerald eyes widened innocently and Emma feigned contriteness as she said, "My bad."

Swatting her arm, Regina ordered, "Stop being a nuisance and go check on dinner."

Emma saluted, grabbed her by the collar of her shirt and thoroughly dominated her mouth before she released her, spun on her heel and sauntered to the kitchen, whistling as she went. Regina stared after her, surprised—pleasantly so—and breathless.

"Right well…" Regina turned her head slowly to Robin who pointed over his shoulder as he said, "I'll just be going now. Goodnight."

She closed the door without comment and pressed her back against it. That kiss was something special. A grin spread across her face, head thumping against the door as she placed a hand over her stomach, red-hot arousal causing muscles to clench in undeniable need.

Closing her eyes, she breathed in deeply in the hope of gaining some kind of control over her body. She reminded herself that it was their first intimate dinner together as she pushed from the door and headed for the kitchen. Date, her mind corrected—Emma had called it a date.

The moment Regina entered the room; her eyes fell to take in the sight of Emma bent over, her leather-clad backside _begging _for attention and whatever control Regina had gained was lost as she crossed the room.

Emma gasped as hands landed on her hips and she straightened. Regina pressed against her back, trapping the blonde between herself and the counter as she lowered her mouth to shoulder. Warmth coiled low in her stomach as she trailed a path to Emma's neck and Emma moaned.

"I don't think I can wait until after dinner," she husked into Emma's ear, a hand sliding from hip to thigh and slipping beneath the hem of her dress. "What you said, that kiss—_this _dress…"

A shiver wracked Emma's body as Regina trailed off with a growl and Emma reached down, capturing the hand caressing her inner thigh and forcing it higher. "Then don't," she countered, releasing a moan as slim fingers slid between her thighs and cupped her sex.

Her hips bucked as the hand squeezed and her head fell back against a shoulder, rolling to brush her lips across whatever skin she could reach, her mouth finding a pulse and latching on as Regina rubbed her pussy through her panties.

Regina moaned as a tongue fluttered against her neck and dragged her nails along folds, drawing another gasp that caused her to smirk. She placed a hand in the small of Emma's back and forced the mouth from her flesh as she bent the blonde over the kitchen counter.

"_I'm _not waiting, my dear," she reiterated, regretfully removing her hand from Emma's sex to join the one at her back. Peeling the leather of her dress up her thighs and over hips, she added, "_You_, however, will have to wait your turn."

"I'll try not to be too disappointed," Emma quipped, and then yelped as Regina swatted her backside.

"You're in no position for cheek, Miss Swan." An amused snort was her only response and Regina grinned, knowing exactly where Emma's mind went as she smacked her ass again for good measure. "You're a child."

Emma snorted again and questioned, "What does that make you?"

Running hands over the cheeks of her ass, Regina inched fingers beneath the waistband of Emma's panties and purred, "Very, very naughty," as she pulled them down long legs. She crouched behind the blonde, eyes drinking in the sight of swollen folds, wet and waiting.

And it was all. For. Her.

Raising a hand, she gathered the juices on her thumb and Emma groaned as Regina brought the glistening digit to her mouth. She hummed, surprised and pleased by the sweet taste that exploded on her tongue. Emma Swan was delicious.

"You're mine now," she informed the blonde and Emma cried out, unable to respond as Regina dove straight into her sex, licking and sucking as though she was starved, and Emma's pussy was nothing less than a gourmet meal.

Emma squirmed against the onslaught, words—_slow down, don't stop, more more more_;halted on her tongue in exchange for breathless gasps and wanton moans.

Nails clawed her flesh, one hand finding purchase on a hip as the other raked down the back of her thigh and her head fell forward, teeth biting down on her arm to hold in her scream as Regina penetrated her with her tongue.

Her eyes slammed closed and her body shook, a strangled whimper sticking in her throat as Regina found her clit, tongue thrusting in and out in time with the rough strokes of thumb on her bundle of nerves.

The hand at her hip wandered down and she gasped, empty for a brief second before Regina filled her with a finger, pumping in and out a few times before adding a second, and then a third. She pushed against the digits, arching her back as her pleasured sounds permeated the air.

"Come for me," Regina demanded and Emma sobbed as teeth sank hard into the firm cheek of her ass, the brunette's name tearing from her mouth in a shout as she arched further and came undone.

Regina bathed the bite with her mouth, kissing bruised flesh while Emma remained blissfully oblivious to her surroundings. When panted breathes ended with a satisfied hum, she stood slowly and withdrew her fingers, sucking them into her mouth as she caressed Emma's back with her free hand.

"Dinner will be ruined now," Emma murmured after a few minutes, doing nothing to cover herself despite the moment being over as she stayed in her position—not that Regina minded, happily appreciating the view while it lasted.

"I wonder if I should feel insulted that that's your first thought," Regina mused aloud, though her tone clearly said she wasn't. "Do I cook better than I fuck?"

Emma chuckled, finally forcing herself to stand and smoothing down her dress before she turned to find Regina staring down at the space her ass previously occupied. She smirked and stepped into the brunette, raising her head with a finger beneath her chin as she assured, "Best I've ever had… in both cases."

Regina nodded as if she expected nothing less. "I know," she said. "I just wanted to hear you say it."

"Bloody big head," Emma whispered fondly, wrapping her arms about the brunette and wiping the responding chesire grin from shiny lips as she captured them in another kiss.


End file.
